Dr Caltrops
by Spirals95
Summary: #10 of my Techorse series.  Pinkie Pie has always been afraid of Dr. Caltrops due to his dark medical journal.  But when she has to cater one of his conferences, will she be able to change her mind about the colt?


Dr. Caltrops

Techorse series: #10

By Spirals95

* * *

><p>"Catering is a very important part of running a bakery. You need to learn through experience." said Mr. Cake to his apprentice.<p>

"Sure, but to anypony but HIM!" replied Pinkie Pie as she hid under the covers of her bed.

Pinkie Pie had been ordered by her master to attend an event of the famous Dr. Caltrops, a young but promising medical school graduate who did research in genetics and biochemistry. This weekend he was giving a lecture out in the city, and he had chosen Ponyville's bakery on recommendation from one of his colleagues who had gone through town a couple of weeks before. Unfortunately for Pinkie Pie, this happened to be one of the busiest weeks of the year for bakeries, and she was being forced to help supply the doctor and his friends with plenty of baked goods. Normally, she would have loved to help out with the event, but she had a special fear for Doctor Caltrops. Pinkie Pie had read his medical journal, which was published once a month and shipped to towns all over the continent. The medical journal tended to contain studies of diseases that affected all sorts of ponies regardless of type or gender. The problem was that the Doctor did not monitor his employees as well as he should have, so sometimes the names of the ponies with said diseases would end up in the medical journals. Pinkie Pie was always afraid that her high-sugar diet would give her one of these diseases, and because of that her name would end up in the medical journal for sure. Although she could normally laugh off her fears, this time the pink pony was afraid of meeting the Doctor because of his journal. It also didn't help that she believed she was going to have some horrible experiment done on her if they ever came into contact.

So, Pinkie Pie lay with her bed covers over her head; a shivering lump on top of the mattress. She absolutely refused to budge.

Mr. Cake let out a deep sigh and said, "I just don't get it. You're not scared of the other smart and _wealthy_ pony you know."

Pinkie Pie replied, "That's because Techie doesn't perform _eeeeevil_ experiments on other ponies! He's a great guy!"

"Well I'm sure Dr. Caltrops is just as nice as Techorse. I'm guessing he only writes that book of his because he doesn't get to do as many interesting things as you do. Have you thought about how hard being a doctor must be for him?"

She stuck her head out from under the mass of blankets and looked at her master with her large blue eyes, "Never thought of that before. Maybe the Doctor just needs some more fun in his life! I'm going to throw him a party the second I get there!"

"That's the spirit!" replied Mr. Cake as Pinkie Pie climbed out from the sheets, "Now go take the cart to the library, your friend's going to send you on your way."

* * *

><p>Pinkie Pie nodded and bounded out of her bedroom, down the stairs, and out the door of the bakery, where she found the cart filled with baked goods she was supposed to deliver. The wooden handle of the cart fit on her shoulders perfectly, and soon she was walking down the cobblestone road of town towards the library. Once she had made it to the tree building, she carefully removed the handle of the cart from around her neck, and gleefully jumped inside the library without so much as announcing her arrival.<p>

Twilight Sparkle looked up from the blue-covered book she was reading and smiled.

"Ready to go, Pinkie?"

Pinkie Pie nodded her head and said rather loudly, "This is going to be fun, I just know it!"

"That's funny," said Spike as he turned away from placing books back on the shelves, "I thought you didn't want to do this because of that Doctor you're scared of."

The pink pony flicked her tail to one side and responded, "I'm not scared of Doctor Caltrops, just his book! I don't wanna end up in the next issue."

Spike interrupted, "I'm going to go get the mail while you talk about that."

Twilight shook her head at Spike's rude action. Refocusing her attention on Pinkie Pie, she told her, "Anyways, I wouldn't worry about that. I've read the Doctor's medical journal, and I'm pretty sure it's the ponies he hires that write names down in the journal. He might actually be pretty upset with them for that."

"I don't think so!" said Pinkie Pie, "I think the Doctor just needs to have some more fun with life, so he won't have to write ponies' names down in journals to be happy."

"Back!" shouted Spike as he entered the door with a small stack of letters in his hand. He proceeded to flip through the post with haste.

"Junk, advertisement, and one letter for you, Twilight." He said as he held out the letter to her.

Twilight's horn glowed, and the letter drifted out from Spike's hand and in front of her face. Pinkie Pie noticed that the seal covering the back of the letter was a large red, heart-shaped sticker. Twilight looked at the writing on the front of the letter and said with a happy sigh,

"Oh, it's a love letter from Techorse."

"A love letter?" asked Pinkie Pie as she scooted up next to Twilight, "What's that?"

Twilight explained to her as she let out another sigh, "A love letter is a special type of note where one pony who loves another tells her his true feelings about her. Only the most intimate thoughts go on these."

"Basically." Said Spike bluntly, "It's a letter that compliments your butt."

Twilight shot him a nasty look and shouted, "It does not!"

She cooled down a bit, then opened the letter magically and brought the message close to herself. Pinkie Pie attempted to read the message over Twilight's shoulder, but she pulled the note away.

"Pinkie Pie, you can't read this! These letters are quite private." She said, trying not to snap at her friend.

Pinkie Pie giggled and backed up a bit. But then, her ears drooped a bit. Something which she normally didn't think about had pierced her otherwise happy mind.

"What's wrong?" asked Twilight as she put the letter on a nearby desk.

Pinkie Pie's eyes filled with tears before she finally burst out and cried, "I want a coltfriend too!"

Twilight gave Pinkie Pie a look of pity and placed a hoof on her back, "You don't need a coltfriend right now."

"But I want one!" she replied, "I want a guy who can come to all my parties, make cakes with me, send me love letters, and… and…"

"And what?" asked Twilight.

Pinkie Pie wailed, "I want someone to compliment my butt too!"

Spike burst out laughing and fell to the ground, kicking his legs and pounding his right fist on the floor. Twilight rolled her eyes at his immaturity and gave Pinkie Pie a quick hug.

"I'm sure sooner or later the right colt will take interest in you. Now please stop crying."

Pinkie Pie nodded and grabbed a tissue from a nearby box. After drying her eyes and blowing her nose, she smiled at Twilight.

Twilight asked her, "Feel better?"

Pinkie Pie replied, "Yup, and I'm ready to go when you are."

* * *

><p>Twilight took Pinkie Pie outside and had her stand as close to the cart as possible without coming into direct contact with it. She then used her telekinesis to pick up a small metal box with a series of dials, buttons, and switches on it. Twilight gently floated the object over to the pastry cart, and set it down next to a plate of brownies. Pinkie Pie turned her head and looked at the weird machine with great curiosity.<p>

"Ooooh, what is this thing?" she asked with excitement.

"That's Techorse's self-teleporter." answered Twilight, "I won't be there to pick you up after you've catered the Doctor's event, so Tech donated this to let you bring yourself home. Just push the red button on the side of that machine, and you'll be teleported back to Sugarcube Corner within a few seconds."

"Yet another neat toy from our favorite mad scientist!" giggled Pinkie Pie as she looked back at Twilight.

"I think that's everything you need." Said Twilight, bringing a roll of parchment in front of her face, "Everything Mr. Cake wrote down on this scroll is accounted for."

"Then let's go!" said Pinkie as she hopped once in the air.

"Ok, get ready Pinkie Pie." said Twilight, as she charged her horn for the powerful teleportation spell. Pinkie Pie shut her eyes and smiled, waiting for the magic to take effect.

The cart and Pinkie Pie disappeared in a loud blast, and a bright flash of white light blinded every passerby as the spell finished. Twilight opened her eyes and brushed a bead of sweat from her forehead. She stared at the place where the cart and Pinkie once stood, then turned around and headed back into the library.

"Good luck, Pinkie Pie."

* * *

><p>The cart appeared in front of the medical complex with a sharp blast of sound akin to a whip. After completely materializing, Pinkie Pie opened her eyes and had a good look at the beautiful set of buildings in front of her. Four different skyscrapers, ranging from seven to ten floors high were interconnected by a large and flat building about 3 stories high. The entire setup was painted a pure white color that made the building reflect the sun, giving it a warm and inviting look that was crucial for any type of hospital. Although there were very few sick patients inside in the building, there were many researchers studying diseases and syndromes, looking for a cure that might make them rich and famous. Running alongside the building was a gorgeous river with crystal-clear water, and the landscaping surrounding this natural water flow provided a relaxing garden for recovering ponies to enjoy.<p>

After taking a long, awed gaze at the research hospital, Pinkie Pie put the handle of the cart around her neck again and pulled it towards the glass double doors on the front of the building. She gleefully trotted up to the entrance, where two mares opened the glass doors for her and allowed Pinkie to bring the baked goods inside. Once she had fully entered the lobby of the building and the doors were closed behind her, she was approached by a turquoise mare with a lengthy light blue mane. Pinkie Pie initially ignored her, however, getting easily distracted by the inner beauty of the building. The floor was made from fine tiled marble, the walls were painted a soothing peach color, and many beautiful windows made of clear but intricate glass allowed plenty of light into the hospital. The earth pony's thoughts of wonder were stopped short by the mare next to her.

"You must be the catering mare, Pinkie Pie." She said with a hint of smile.

"Yeah, that's me!" replied Pinkie as she took the handle off her shoulders and came back to reality.

"Unfortunately, the doctor has delayed his speech until tomorrow, so we won't need the baked goods until then."

The mare then turned to her assistant and said to him, "Go put this in the refrigerator room so that nothing goes stale." He nodded and dragged the cart down a wide hallway in the hospital.

Pinkie Pie noticed how large the building was and said, "Wowie, I didn't know hospitals were so big!"

"You're not the first pony to marvel at the size of this place." said the mare with a bit of a laugh, "Celestia built this research facility from her own personal wealth ten years ago, and from here we've cured ninety nine diseases."

"You mean the princess didn't take any taxes for this place?" asked Pinkie Pie, looking at all the fancy paintings and houseplants that dotted the marbled interior.

"Oh no, she set aside a large trust fund to build this hospital on the condition that no magic be used to try and cure diseases. For some reason, she wanted only natural cures to come from this place." replied the turquoise mare as she pointed at a large golden plaque that featured Celestia's name.

"Ohhhh!" said Pinkie Pie, "So that's why there aren't any unicorns around here."

"You won't see any Pegasus ponies either." added the mare, "This place is built firmly on the ground, and they show a lot of prejudice against it as a result."

"That's too bad, this place is neat!" said Pinkie Pie, still scanning the interior of the building.

"Well, I don't know what your plans are, but considering that you won't get your cart back until tomorrow, why don't you have a look around the place?" suggested the mare.

"Thanks!" said Pinkie Pie, who immediately took off down the hallway in a pink blur of speed. The turquoise earth pony shook her head and went back to her other duties.

* * *

><p>"And so I say to him, 'that's no needle'!"<p>

The colt to the joke teller's right and left burst into laughter as the punch line reached their ears. The pony who had just told the joke was a cream-colored colt with a well-groomed black mane. He wore copper-framed glasses of average size, and on his flank was a cutie mark in the shape of an empty chemistry beaker. His two friends were yellow and brown coated, and had known the colt for quite some time. After they had finished laughing at the joke, the purple one said to him in her smooth voice, "So, have you found yourself a mare yet?"

"Not yet." Replied the cream-colored colt with a bit of a frown, "I mean, I have many admirers, but I'm not going to choose a girl that I do not love back."

"That's a smart thing to do!" said the brown male next to him with a look of agreement, "Just picking one of the nurses around here might not make you happy in the end."

"I guess." said the one in the middle, letting his ears droop in shame that he was still single.

Down the hallway from where the three were walking, Pinkie Pie had found an ivory decorative fountain, and was busy sticking her nose in the water. The fountain's streams of water had been was filled with aroma salts, and the fountain's pool looked very much like a bubble bath to her. The temptation to climb into the fountain and play around in the therapy water was just about to overtake Pinkie Pie. She pulled her head out of the spray and laughed cheerfully at how much fun it was to mess with the aquatic devices on the fountain. The cream-coated stallion heard this laughing, and dropped every thought in his head to seek it out.

He walked up to the fountain with his friends at his sides, and said to Pinkie Pie with an almost shy tone of voice, "Hello miss!"

Pinkie Pie swung her entire body around to face him and put a large smile on her face, "Hi!"

The cream colored pony was startled at her energetic reaction to his greeting, but he regained composure and asked, "What's your name?"

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" she replied, taking a happy jump in the air, "I just love this hospital, it's got so many fun things to look at!"

"Yes, well, it is a very great place." The colt said with a nervous nod, "Would you like me to give you a tour?"

"Sure!" she shouted as she ran up to him. Pinkie Pie pushed her face against his and said quietly, "Just as long as we avoid this one colt I'm afraid of!"

The male smiled and stepped back from her for a second and said, "Ok. If you see him, I'll make sure I keep him away from you."

"Thanks!" said Pinkie Pie, "By the way, what's your name?"

The cream colored colt pushed his glasses into a comfortable spot on his face and said, "I'm Doctor Caltrops."

Pinkie Pie heard this, and let out a bloodcurdling scream in fear before diving behind a nearby potted palm tree. The doctor frowned and slowly walked up to the terra cotta pot. He stopped just in front of the large clay vessel and spent a few seconds in thought before coming up with what to say.

"Am I the pony you're trying to avoid?" Caltrops asked, using the gentlest tone of voice he possibly could.

"Yes!" came Pinkie Pie's frightened voice from behind the potted plant.

"Why? I'm not going to hurt you." He assured her.

Pinkie Pie slowly peeked out from behind the plant and made eye contact with him.

"You want to put me in your medical journal if I get sick from all the sugar I eat!" she accused, giving him a threatening look, "You're going to embarrass me in front of all of Ponyville, and then…"

Doctor Caltrops took a step back and put a shameful look on his face.

Pinkie Pie finished, "You're going to do some horrible experiment on me!"

The doctor's two friends looked at each other and started to laugh. They knew that Pinkie Pie was being silly and that their best friend would never do anything mean like that to her.

Doctor Caltrops silenced their laughter and said to Pinkie Pie, "I'm not going to do that to you. In fact, before you knew what my name was, didn't you think I was a pretty nice guy?"

Pinkie Pie stepped out from behind the potted plant and smiled, "That's right! Maybe you're not so bad after all."

"You see, I'm not going to embarrass you or hurt you." He said.

After a light pause, he asked, "Would you still like that tour?"

"Of course Doctor!" she said with a happy tone.

* * *

><p>Caltrops took Pinkie Pie around the entire complex, showing her the various laboratories and research rooms. More than once she left his side and started to mess with the machinery, often with a humorous result. A few of the hospital staff members began to get a little annoyed at Pinkie Pie's antics, but because Doctor Caltrops was held with such high respect there and he let her play with the machines, she was able to get away with it. The tour concluded with the Doctor returning Pinkie Pie to the lobby of the hospital late in the afternoon.<p>

"Thanks for the tour Calie!" said Pinkie Pie as she turned to leave the building. After she had exited the hospital through the glass doors, the Doctor was approached by his two friends.

The brown colt nudged the doctor with his front left leg and said, "We can see that look on your face, Cal. You like that silly girl, don't you?"

The doctor faced him and said, "I do! She's so happy and carefree, and she likes to have a good time. All the nurses around here work way too hard and don't like to go and do anything for entertainment!"

The purple mare smiled and said to him, "Then you should tell her you like her."

"But what can I do, it's not like I can simply demand she be my marefriend!" he said, frowning and looking at the floor.

"Well," said his male buddy, "I bet if you asked her out to dinner tonight, she wouldn't refuse. You can tell her then."

"Yeah!" encouraged the female, "Wine and dine her, and then tell her how you feel. What could go wrong Cal?"

"Alright," he said to them, "thanks guys, and wish me luck!" He left them in the lobby of the hospital and exited the glass doors. It didn't take him long to find Pinkie Pie, as she was swimming in the river directly outside of the hospital.

"Enjoying the water?" he asked her from the dry comfort of the riverbank.

"I sure am!" she replied after spitting a spout of water out of her mouth, "Want to dive in with me?"

"Actually Pinkie," he said with a laugh, "I think it's getting a little late. Are you hungry?"

Pinkie Pie jumped out of the water and shook herself off. Water droplets hit Caltrops's glasses, and he smiled as the mare in front of him got dried off.

"I'm always hungry!" Pinkie Pie said, "Do you have a kitchen in the hospital? I can make something really yummy for us!"

"Oh you don't have to cook!" he said, "I was going to go to this great restaurant I know of, and I'd like you to… um…"

Caltrops locked up in a bit of nervousness as she tried to work up the courage to finish his sentence,

"I'd like you to go with me."

Pinkie Pie gave him a little smile and tilted her head 10 degrees to the side. She giggled and asked him, "Doctor, are you asking me out?"

Visible beads of sweat began to form on Caltrop's face. His ears drooped in a bit of embarrassment. After a moment of silence he took a deep breath and said, "I guess I am. Would you like to go out for dinner, Pinkie Pie?"

"Yeah!" she replied, "It sounds like fun! Just lead the way, Callie."

The Doctor's ears perked up, "Great!"

* * *

><p>Dr. Caltrops took Pinkie Pie to the restaurant he had described. Although it was only an average sized restaurant, it was famous for having over forty different varieties of pasta and salad. The Doctor was a frequent patron of the place, and it didn't take him long to get he and his date in. The two were seated at a booth alongside the white-painted wall of the restaurant. A beautiful blue tablecloth was draped over the counter between them. The walls were decorated with art from the surrounding area, mostly paintings, but occasionally a sculpture hung from the wall instead. For lighting, the restaurant used electric lights during the day, but switched to wax candles at night for atmosphere. The mood created by the lighting levels allowed couples to really share their feelings with each other. Caltrops had hoped that he would get a chance to share his feelings, too.<p>

"Wow!" squealed Pinkie Pie, "This place is amazing, Calie!"

The Doctor noticed that other ponies in the restaurant were beginning to stare because of how loud Pinkie Pie was being, but he ignored them. His fame as a doctor won him the right to be left alone. H he smirked when he saw the waiters in the restaurant attempt to keep the patrons they were serving from giving him weird looks.

"Would you like to start with something to drink?" asked the waiter who had practically snuck up behind the two.

Caltrops moved a small red index-card sized menu in front of him at the table and said, "I'd like a bottle of this to share with her, please."

Pinkie Pie had no idea what he was ordering, but sat there with a smile on her face. Her day had been made already. What she had believed to have been an evil colt was actually a nice guy who wanted to be her friend. Or so she thought.

Caltrops picked up the menu in front of him and began to leaf through it with his hooves.

"So what's good here?" asked Pinkie Pie as she tried to interpret the huge menu.

"I like the vegetable lasagna personally." He said, "I'm not sure what kinds of pasta they have back where you live."

"I can't think of any places in Ponyville serve pasta." She said, "Or at least, not this many kinds! They all look so delicious!"

The waiter had returned, carrying a large green bottle with a tan sticker on the front. Although he had to use his teeth, he managed to unscrew the bottle and set it down on the table in front of the two. After doing so, Caltrops carefully poured Pinkie Pie a glass of the red liquid before filling his own.

"Thanks!" she said, giving a curious look at the bubbling liquid. She had seen some drinks like it before, but wasn't sure if it was the same.

"So, are you ready to order?" asked the waiter, getting out a small pad of paper. He was an earth pony, and it was quite difficult to work with the pad, but a few years of work had let him get the concept of writing down to a science.

"Yes!" said Caltrops, "I'd like the lasagna."

"I'll take that too!" said Pinkie Pie, eager to follow suit.

The waiter nodded and left them at the table to talk. Caltrops moved his glass in front of his face and took a tiny sip from the cup. Pinkie Pie, on the other hand, took a large swallow from it. After the liquid entered her mouth, she gained a disgusted look on her face, and her eyes widened in response to its taste. She quickly sprayed the drink out of her mouth all over the floor in a comedic fashion.

"What's wrong?" asked Caltrops, "Are you ok?"

"That stuffs' bitter!" she shouted, sticking her tongue out, "What is that nasty drink?"

"It's wine." He said, "I thought you'd like it with dinner."

"I don't like bitter things." She explained, "I like things to be sweet, just like all the cupcakes and cookies I make back in Ponyville."

The Doctor reclined back in the booth a bit and nodded thoughtfully. When the waiter returned with their food, he asked him to put the bottle back in storage for him to finish later.

After dinner, the two entered a long conversation over two cups of sugared tea and a slice of vanilla smith island cake. Caltrops couldn't stop talking about his line of work, and Pinkie Pie wouldn't stop sharing stories of the various shenanigans she got into back in town.

"So I reached for the vial of protein, and it turns out it had been switched with a vial of carbohydrates. The patient nearly flipped his lid!" said Caltrops, trying not to burst out laughing. Pinkie Pie laughed at the medical joke, although she didn't understand half of it, she found the doctor to be funny.

"I really love that laugh of yours." He said to her in a loving voice.

"Thanks!" she replied, continuing to giggle, "I really love your work stories, they're funny! I'm really glad you turned out to be a nice pony and not some big meanie."

Dr. Caltrops worked up the courage to say, "Pinkie Pie, I'd like to ask you something."

"Sure Calie, what is it?"

The Doctor put his front legs forward and placed them overtop of Pinkie's.

"I love you." He said, "Do you want to be my marefriend?"

"Wow, that was quick!" she said, laughing. The doctor frowned and removed his legs. He sunk in his seat, and his ears fell down to indicate his sadness.

"Nevermind." He said, sighing.

"I didn't say no, silly!" said Pinkie Pie, "We just need more time."

"Really?" said Caltrops, looking a bit more cheerful.

"Yeah!" she said, "Let me give you my address, and you can come visit me in Ponyville anytime you want! I'll have a fresh tray of your favorite cookie waiting for you every time." Pinkie Pie scribbled her address down on a piece of scrap paper for him and passed it across the table.

"So, you're going back to Ponyville tonight?" he asked.

"I gotta." She said with a nod, "Those goodies aren't needed until tomorrow, and I don't have a place to stay here."

"I have an extra apartment!" suggested Caltrops, "Do you want to stay there tonight? I'd pick you up in the morning and you could come to my speech!"

"That sounds fun." She said, jumping out of the booth, "I'd love to come hear your speech!"

* * *

><p>The doctor took Pinkie Pie out of the restaurant and walked her back to the apartment complex he had in mind. He used this for when he didn't spend nights at the hospital researching. Although it was a flat and somewhat plain looking building, it was a very comfortable place to live, as each apartment was nearly double the size of those in major cities. Caltrops unlocked the door to apartment 12A and opened it gently with his leg.<p>

"I'll be back at 9 in the morning to pick you up." He said, "Have a good night, Pinkie Pie."

"You too!" she said, "And thanks for everything, Calie, it was lots of fun."

Pinkie Pie approached the doctor and looked him directly in his green eyes. She was happy that she had finally found a colt who loved her for who she was. But things were going pretty fast right now for both of them, so she changed her mind about what she was going to do and simply hopped into the apartment. Doctor Caltrops shut the door and smiled. He was in love, and was determined to keep it that way.

"_She doesn't know it yet._" He thought as he began to walk back for the hospital, "_But what I can provide for her as a coltfriend will make her the luckiest mare in the world."_

* * *

><p>The next morning, Caltrops returned to the apartment and knocked on the door gently. A minute passed without Pinkie Pie opening the door, and he wondered if she was still asleep. He knocked louder on the green door this time and called out, "Pinkie Pie? Are you still asleep? We need to get going."<p>

This time, the door opened, and Pinkie Pie said with her bubbly tone of voice, "Good morning Cal! Sorry I didn't answer the first time, I was making you breakfast."

"You were?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah, come on in!" she answered, shutting her eyes and whipping around to go back inside. Her fluffy tail dragged across his face, tickling his nose. The doctor sighed in happiness and walked inside his apartment, where he was seated down to a stack of buttermilk pancakes.

"I made these out of all the ingredients you have in your kitchen!" explained Pinkie, "You sure don't use much of anything."

"I really can't cook that well." said Caltrops, taking a bite of the pancakes in front of him.

"I can teach you sometime!" she said as she went back to cooking another stack of pancakes, "But I'm mostly good at treats."

"I'd appreciate that." said Caltrops. However, he thought to himself as he continued to eat, "_But after today, you're never going to have to cook for yourself again!_"

After finishing the stack, Caltrops said to Pinkie, "Those were really great, sweetie!" To his shock, Pinkie Pie had already replaced the empty plate with a new one, stacked high with another dozen pancakes.

"I don't think I can eat many more." He said, having to nearly look up to see the top of the stack.

"No friend of mine's giving a speech without a good breakfast. Eat up!" encouraged Pinkie Pie. The doctor looked at the challenge before him, but knew he couldn't offend his new love interest and started eating again.

Although the sheer amount of pancakes had nearly made the doctor sick, he somehow managed to finish the rest of the batch. The two had reached the hospital in time for the speech, and Caltrops led Pinkie Pie back to the refrigerator room to bring the baked goods to the conference. She dragged the wooden cart out of the cold room and down the hallway, but this time was assisted by the doctor, who pushed the cart from behind to help. Soon the two reached the entrance to the room.

"I'm going to bring in the snacks one tray at a time." said Pinkie, "You go in and get set up!"

"Thanks!" he said as he opened the double doors.

* * *

><p>Inside the CEO-meeting styled room were 12 different doctors from all across the continent. They were seated at a large and long oak table. Each one was seated in a black leather swivel chair, which they had turned on in order to face the front of the room without blocking the view of the pony behind them. At the front of the large but open area was a They welcomed Caltrops with some simple greetings as he made his way to the front of the room. Next to him was a simple projector and a suspicious black metal box which Caltrops had placed there the night before. Caltrops smiled and looked at the twelve doctors who were going to hear his speech, all of them were earth ponies of various colors and cutie marks. Pinkie Pie had entered the room and began to serve the doctors any treats that they asked for.<p>

Caltrops turned on the projector and said, "Thank you, everypony, for showing up for this special meeting I have called. The discoveries I have made in the past month are going to change Equestria forever."

The other doctors began to talk amongst themselves, wondering what sort of a disease Caltrops had discovered a cure for.

One of the females finally asked him, "What have you found a cure for?"

Caltrops shook his head and replied, "I haven't cured anything m'am. I've simply invented a chemical which will improve life for us drastically."

"How so?" she asked. Pinkie Pie stood next to her and offered the mare a cupcake, but she refused.

Caltrops addressed the entire board, "My colleagues, what are we?"

"We're doctors." One replied.

"Deeper than that, my friend." said Caltrops to encourage further guesses.

"All of us are earth ponies." One of the colts said.

"Exactly." answered Caltrops, "Not a single pony here is a unicorn or a Pegasus. Why is that?"

"Well," answered another doctor, "unicorns tend to use spells to cure certain diseases, and Pegasus ponies don't come into much contact with ground animals, so they don't get sick. We're all doctors because we need medicine that they don't. In fact, I only know of one unicorn doctor in existence."

"Have you noticed?" asked Caltrops rhetorically, "That us earth ponies always get the short end of the stick when it comes to life on Equestria?"

"What do you mean?" asked a male.

"Tell me, who do you see cleaning the floors in places where all three types of ponies work?"

"Earth ponies." He replied truthfully.

"Right. Who are the assistants who do all the errands for the magic studying unicorns?"

"Earth ponies!" replied more of the doctors.

"Exactly! Who gets the lowest paying jobs and the most demeaning tasks in all of Equestria?" he asked one more time.

"Earth ponies!" came the unanimous reply from the table. Caltrops smirked and nodded his head.

"That's right. Earth ponies. We end up being the farmers, the laborers and the hard workers, while the pegasi just have to move around a few clouds, and the unicorns can use magic to do anything with ease. We have shorter lifespans and have more pain in old age than the other two types do."

Pinkie Pie soaked in the words that Caltrops said and sort of began to agree with them. Applejack was a farmer, and her grandmother certainly did have bone pain. But one thing she didn't understand was where Caltrops was going with this discussion. Despite what he was saying, Pinkie Pie thought her earth pony friends were pretty happy with life.

Caltrops cleared his throat and continued to lecture, "My friends, earth ponies all across Equestria have become the dirt beneath the hooves of the unicorns and the Pegasus ponies. Today I bring forward a medical solution to our slavery."

"_Slavery?"_ thought Pinkie Pie, "_I'm not a slave to Twilight or Rarity. What does he mean?_"

"Before I give my proposal." said Caltrops, raising a hoof to point at the projector, "I'd like to explain something. Are you all familiar with pony genetics?"

"Not really, considering you're the hospital's primary genetics researcher." said one colt, rolling his eyes.

"I have figured out the way in which a pony's type is determined." Said the doctor, "We all have on microscopic size these bundles of genetic material called chromosomes which make up who we are."

Pinkie Pie interrupted, "I actually heard that from my friend Twilight once! She says we all have a half and half chance of being a stallion or a mare at birth!"

Caltrops said to her, "Yes, well, that is quite true. Our parents share their genetic information, and when you are born, you have a half and half chance based on what the father shares of being a male or a female."

The doctor refocused his attention on the rest of the ponies in the room and continued, "However, I have discovered a set of three chromosomes which determine what type of pony we are."

Caltrops waited for the doctors to stop talking amongst themselves about the announcement before pressing a button on the projector. A picture of three odd things that resembled pieces of yarn showed up on the screen. Pointing with a hoof, Caltrops gave more information about his finding,

"Anyways, these are the three chromosomes which are decided at birth. We see here a typical unicorn pony's set of three chromosomes. Notice how these first one is I shaped, while the last one is T shaped. Technically, we have four chromosomes which determine our type, but the last one is always a T, so we can ignore it. Only these first three are important."

"So you're suggesting the I chromosome is what gives a unicorn its horn?" asked one of the doctors.

"Precisely." He replied, "Unicorns have the combination ITT of their type chromosomes. Pegasus ponies have the combination IIT. We have all T chromosomes in our bodies."

Caltrops walked over to the table and took a sip of water out of a plastic cup. Letting the cold liquid run down his throat, he paused to think a bit. He then stepped back from the wood table and proceeded,

"The shocking part about all of this is that the female is the one who decides what type of pony will be born. When a couple goes to have a foal, the father always gives two T chromosomes no matter what. The other two are given by the mother, and may include I chromosomes depending on her type."

"So what you are saying is that an earth pony and a unicorn pony have a half and half chance of having either type of foal?" said one of the females.

"Yes!" exclaimed Caltrops, glad some of his colleagues were beginning to understand, "A unicorn mother can give either IT or TT, granting either type."

Pinkie Pie wondered if she should take notes and let Twilight know about this. She also thought carefully and realized that Caltrops was not completely right.

Caltrops continued, "The only real exception to this rule seems to be when two ponies are of the same type. It seems that there is an additional 20% favor towards the offspring being homogeneous with the parents. You see, some of the T chromosomes resemble lowercase t's instead of capital ones. I believe these chromosomes are responsible for this phenomenon."

The doctor pressed the button on the projector again and said to his colleagues, "This is a chart on births from Cloudsdale. Notice that although the entire population consists of Pegasus ponies, which means that half of their babies should be unicorns, only 12 unicorn ponies from that area were born last year."

Caltrops' face twisted in anger as he added, "All 12 of them were put up for adoption immediately."

"Say…" asked a female doctor, "How did the princesses get both horns and wings?"

He answered her question, "As far as I know, their father managed to give an I chromosome instead of a T by accident. How that works is beyond me, but that's the explanation, as I was able to isolate III from a strand of Celestia's hair."

One of the board members said to Caltrops, "I'd like to know what your proposal is. I mean, this is a great discovery you've made here. It will allow us to predict births accurately, and will certainly guarantee your name in the medical records forever. But what do you plan on doing with this information."

The doctor's anger morphed into a sinister grin as he said, "I'm not only the lead genetic researcher here, but I'm also a biochemist. I've invented a chemical which will only affect ponies whose bodies contain I chromosomes."

Caltrops walked over to the black box and opened it with a light click. Whisps of condensing water escaped the ice-cold container, which contained a glass vial of a sickly green liquid.

"What does that do?" asked Pinkie Pie.

The doctor laughed and said, "This chemical is something I made which, once consumed, targets the dividing function of the victim's shareable chromosomes." Although he had tried to keep it simple for Pinkie Pie, she still gave him a confused look.

"Huh?"

"This chemical, once drunk by a unicorn or Pegasus pony, will leave them infertile."

The ponies around the room gasped, one of them even fainted in horror at this announcement.

"So they can't grow plants, big deal!" said Pinkie Pie.

The doctors immediately burst out laughing at her comment, slamming their hooves into the table and making a racket.

Caltrops blushed and shouted, "_SHUT UP_!"

Immediately they fell silent and focused on him.

"Pinkie Pie." explained Caltrops, "Infertile means that they won't be able to bear foals."

"Oh." Said Pinkie Pie, understanding now what he meant.

Caltrops turned off the projector and jumped up onto the table. In a dramatic voice he said, "My fellow earth ponies, I have provided the solution to our kinds' suffering. This chemical will be mass produced and pumped into every water supply on the planet. Within one generation, only earth ponies shall remain, and our grandfoals will own this planet forever! Never again will we have to put up with a prideful Pegasus or a bossy unicorn! Wealth and happiness will be ours again!"

The other doctors started to enjoy the idea of there only being earth ponies, and began to applaud Caltrops. But Pinkie Pie stepped back from the table and began to think deeply. She stopped thinking when she heard Caltrop's voice,

"Pinkie Pie!"

She looked up at Caltrops, who stepped down from the table and got close to her. He looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Of course, since there will be no more ponies besides earth ponies, we're going to need new leaders. The other doctors want me to be king of this planet, Pinkie Pie."

Caltrops then reached from underneath the table and brought out a small box. He knelt down and opened the box before Pinkie Pie, exposing a large diamond ring.

"Will you marry me and become my queen?"

Pinkie Pie's eyes grew wide at the offer and the size of the diamond ring. She seriously thought about saying yes. After all, being queen of Equstria would mean that she could throw one of her parties whenever she wanted to, and it was guarentted that guests would attend. She could make any goodies she wanted to for herself, and get her servants to make anything she didn't want to. No more running errands for anyone or putting up with bullying from other types of ponies. Pinkie Pie opened her mouth to say "yes". But something had stopped her. For you see, Pinkie Pie knew in her heart that what the doctor was going to do was downright evil. She thought about her friends, and how she would never have another unicorn or Pegasus to talk to once they were gone. Pinkie worried about how miserable Rarity, her masters' foals, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Twilight would be about the loss of their entire kind. But most of all, Pinkie Pie did not want to put all those ponies through the pain of never being able to have a family. In her mind, the scenario of Techorse and Twilight, or Rarity and her future husband learning that they could never have foals made her feel downright awful about herself. Pinkie Pie shut the lid on the ring box and said, "No."

Caltrops asked, "But why not? I thought you loved me!"

"I loved you who _were_." Said Pinkie Pie, "But can't you see what you're about to do is no fun at all for the planet? Think about how mean you are to want to get rid of others just because they're different!"

Pinkie Pie turned to face all the doctors in the room and said, "You guys should be ashamed too! Yeah, sometimes we end up with a unicorn or Pegasus pony being a little mean to us, but does that mean they don't deserve to have families? How would you feel if the princesses told us we couldn't have any foals?"

The doctors looked at each other, the greed that had filled them from being promised the world had clouded their common sense.

Pinkie Pie continued, "Calie here says that we earth ponies end up having to do all the hard jobs that nopony wants. However, my friend Applejack's a farmer, and she loves her work! So does my buddy Techie, he invents stuff in his castle and enjoys it like I enjoy throwing parties! Also, you guys are all doctors, one of the coolest jobs in Equestria!"

"_Techie? Does she mean Mr. Techorse of Ponyville?_" thought Caltrops as he stared at the closed ring box.

"And most of all think about how you doctors got your great hospital in the first place! The princess built it for you out of her own bank, without taxing us earth ponies at all. Isn't that neat?" continued Pinkie Pie in a happy but cautioning tone of voice.

The doctors nodded and looked at each other. They knew that they had been foolish to even consider wanting to change the genome of ponies forever.

"You see friends, I don't think the answer is to get rid of the other ponies, but to tell them how we feel and befriend them. Maybe together we can work towards a more fun future for all of us!" finished Pinkie, placing a hoof on doctor Caltrop's back. The other ponies in the room agreed and cheered for Pinkie Pie's idea.

Doctor Caltrops stood up and walked over to the box containing the devastating chemical.

"I thought this is what we wanted." He said sadly, "To rule the world."

"I don't need to rule the world to be happy!" said Pinkie Pie, "I just need my friends, and many of them are not just earth ponies."

"Dr. Caltrops." ordered one of the doctors, "Destroy that chemical. None of us are in support of that plan. Either you do it or we'll make sure you lose your medical license. Cooperate and everypony can forget about this terrible mistake."

* * *

><p>Caltrops grabbed the chemical in his teeth and ran out the door of the room. He was determined to put his plan into effect whether the other doctors agreed with him or not. Pinkie Pie dashed out the door as well, hoping to stop him before it was too late. She found him in one of the machinery rooms that she had been given a tour of earlier. The laboratory was filled with many test tube stands, beakers, and setups for distilling chemicals. But a large machine against the wall was what Caltrops was interested in. The device featured several large vats of basic chemicals on the tops, and an out spicket for collecting chemicals in the bottom. It was designed to mass-produce any chemical plugged into the machine on the side. This ability to make as much of his chemical as he wanted would allow Caltrops could poison his victims without much trouble.<p>

Caltrops prepared to plug the vial of poison into the machine when he heard Pinkie Pie's voice behind him.

"Don't do it!" she said desperately.

"Why not?" he asked while looking back at her, "I have nothing to lose now."

"That's not true." said Pinkie Pie.

"Oh yeah, what do I have to lose then?" he asked again.

"Well for one thing," she said while turning her nose in the air and shutting her eyes, "If you do it, I won't be your friend anymore."

Caltrops fully turned around and said to her with tears in his eyes, "You still… care about me?"

"Well duh!" she said, "just because I wouldn't marry you _one day_ after knowing you doesn't mean I want to dump you! You really are the silliest colt I know!"

"But some other pony could use this chemical. Even if I destroy it, another could easily remake it and get rid of the other types of ponies." replied Caltrops.

Pinkie Pie remembered a crucial piece of information and said, "That's not true. Your speech on genes and stuff was pretty cool, but wrong. It's possible for earth ponies to give birth to other types of ponies!"

Caltrop's eyes grew wide, and he gasped, "What?"

"Yeah!" continued Pinkie, "You see my master and his wife just recently had two foals of their own, and they're one Pegasus and one unicorn! I think those 'little t's' you were talking about sometimes come together like puzzle pieces and make an I gene!"

The doctor looked at the green vial and back at Pinkie Pie. He realized in his mind that Pinkie Pie was right, even if he went through with the plan, the unicorns and pegasi would come back. It would be impossible to eliminate them. So, he unscrewed the vial and poured it into a chemical incinerator, which destroyed the liquid in a flash of heat. Unfortunately, the cloud of vapor was acidic enough that it melted through a metal pipe on the ceiling, and it swung down towards the unaware colt.

"Look out Calie!" called out Pinkie Pie. But it was far too late, the tube smashed into the back of his head and knocked him down to the tile floor. Pinkie Pie rushed over and tried to pick him up off the ground, but it was obvious that he had been knocked unconscious.

* * *

><p>When Caltrops woke up, he was lying on a mattress with a bandage on the back of his head and a glass of ice water in front of him. He drained the cup and stood up from the cot, looking around to see where he was. Apparently Pinkie Pie had gone for help, and the doctor had received first aid from an assistant of his. Caltrops exited the tiny checkup room and went down the hall of the hospital, entering his laboratory. He had forgotten what he was going to do that day, only remembering that he had finished giving some sort of a speech on why ponies of certain types were born. On one table in his messy laboratory sat a piece of white paper labeled, "I chromosome targeting chemical." Caltrops looked at the complicated chemical production formula and shook his head,<p>

"Why the heck would I come up with this? This has to be another doctor's work."

He balled up the paper and threw it in the garbage.

* * *

><p>Back in Ponyville, Pinkie Pie had gotten another chance to talk to Twilight about her adventure at the hospital.<p>

"So then, he took me to dinner at this _reaaaaally_ fancy place. He gave me wine too, but I didn't like it. I ended up spitting it all over the floor of the restaurant!" Pinkie Pie said with a laugh.

Twilight nodded and listened closely to her friend's story. She was happy that Pinkie Pie had found a colt who was interested in her.

"It sounds like you had a great time. Looks like the doctor wasn't as bad as you thought he was." said Twilight.

"Yeah!" admitted Pinkie Pie, "Who knew that I'd actually like him as a pony. He's a great guy usually."

"I'm glad you learned it's important not to judge." said Twilight, "In fact, the next time you write a report to the princess, be sure to include something about this."

Pinkie Pie gave a sheepish smile, knowing that Twilight would probably hate the doctor if she learned what his true plan had been.

"Anyways, I'm going back home. See you later!" said Pinkie Pie as she bounded at the front door of the library.

"Goodbye!" called Twilight, shutting the door after her friend left.

Pinkie Pie reached her bakery and hummed a nice tune to herself as she reached for the knob. Before she could enter the door to her home, a tap on the shoulder came from above. Turning around, Pinkie Pie was surprised to find Derpy Hooves hovering directly behind her.

"Got two letters for you, Pinkie." said Derpy, reaching into the mail bag on her side. The gray Pegasus pony handed Pinkie her letters and then took off sideways to go find the next mailbox on her route, but not before bumping into a flagpole as usual.

Pinkie Pie looked at the front of the first letter. It was from the turquoise mare she had met. Carefully opening it, Pinkie Pie had read that the doctor had forgotten about his evil plan and would never try such a thing again. In fact, he had written an apology to the princesses about the event and the chemical formula he had supposedly created. He was forgiven on the condition that he stay in touch with another pony who would keep him from thinking about such an idea again. Pinkie Pie gave a sigh of relief; it seemed that the Caltrops she had met before the speech was back again. The earth pony discarded the first letter in the metal trash can outside of the bakery and looked at the front of the second one.

It was addressed to her from Doctor Caltrops. Pinkie Pie said, "Oh. I guess he wants to stay in touch after all!" But when she turned over the letter, what was holding it together made her gasp.

There was a heart shaped sticker.

Pinkie Pie squealed in delight and then took the letter back inside the bakery with her. She was eager to know her new friend's secret thoughts about her.

The End


End file.
